June 20, 2007
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WADT... ~"me, mile high club"~
...i joined the "mile high club" yesterday...well sorta...here goes...i usually wait to be the last person on the plane just in case there's an empty row of seats...as much of a social butterterfly that i am...well you know that book "no man's an island?"...my book is, "me island, jack"...anyway back to the club...
...so you know that forrest gump feeling you get when walking onto a full plane(bus) where everyone looks at you hoping you are not planting your fat butt next to them?..."me butt, humungous"...so as i reach window seat 11A i see two good looking people giving me the "oh lordy please not here rumplestiltskin"...but alas as i give a obligatory glance to my little piece of boarding pass, then a small smile with a point of my finger to the tiny seat, i say, "i think i'm there"...and with a little crinkle of my face to say, "oh well sorry you have to get up for my gi-gantass(tm fatitude 2007) the handsome couple did not get up, but angled their seats to the side...did they not see how large my umpas were?...well i guess if they didn't get a good look, they will as i scooch by them...my next thought...(do i aim my rear at them as i scooch by them...or my front...yikes...front in their face would be easier but dang...it's my front..."me cookies")
...i decide to give them a "treat" with my butt towards them, as me cookies would be just a little gross, since we just met, you know...and as i hear the snickers and outright laughs from the rest of the plane members watching, as i place my butt cheeks in the face of this once fine couple...no longer virginated...it takes me nearly 5 minutes to get my lard ass by them...(oops shouldn't use that word...i mean my fat ass)...anyway, it felt like 5 minutes...
...as i usually decide whether i will "talk" in the first minute, to whomever i am sitting next to...i figured since it felt like i joined the mile high club with this nice couple, i ended up talking to them the entire flight...
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...since my MR2 didn't start from a dead battery, i tried a compression start by rolling it 1 mile down the hill it's parked on...
NOTE TO SELF: pick up mr2 from bottom of hill, and always wear at least flip-flops when driving
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...right now i'm waiting for the sun to rise over the ocean...it's kinda like a present from GOd every morning...(or from buddha depending on the type of building you go to on sundays)
Comments (23)
is that u in the profile picture? it's kind of dark and scary...
when I went to see the Cirque du Soleil show last week, this guy sitting in my row refused to move. He was like 6'5" or something. So my friends all stepped over his legs. I had on a skirt so I refused to lift my legs over his... so I squeezed by... nearing falling face first because his knee caught my skirt and I had to pull...hard. Fun times...
seems like people are too lazy to do anything but move legs out of the way, when in fact their legs get more in the way sometimes. there are times when people will get up, but the person trying to squeeze through starts squeezing before the person can even get up, so it's worse.
you should've farted!
LOL..
dude...
you are very dramatic about your weight...
ok--we get the picture dude
HAHAHAHAHA jk jk!
--btd.
i once accidentally walked on some feet in a dark theater cuz i thought the people would at least move their feet as i'm coming through. oh well. i figured they deserved it. hehe..
Lucky you, you have LIFE!
it's like sharing bed with people you sit next on plane. you are so close to them and sometimes sleep next to them. Talking is good keep them awake then you don't have to see them snore or drooling.
ryc: Cuz mommy is better than daddy! lol.
where is the post on father-kid sex talks?
...i remember the one my dad had with me and a bf..
yeah--that was awkward.
--btd.
Ha, do you ever try to secure aisle seats?
I agree with Two Blue...I always try to get an aisle seat, you might not be able to see outside, but it's more comfortable and it's easier access to the bathroom. =)
Where in HI are you going?
Now you have me intrigued......how many pounds are you? and does it affect your life in any significant way?
Tomesara.
Haha. RUB it in their faces next time.
that must be some fat (i mean big) butt u got there..........
So where were you flying to? Vacation? (Yeah!!!) or Business (Ugh!!!) And how was that sunrise?
RYC: The family who "pots" together.....LOL
Have a great day!
Rainy
3 years for real? Time flies when I'm having fun reading your xanga.
you know what i really hate? when people sit in your designated seats!! and then they make fun of you for saying "excuse me. this is my seat"
Heh, I have never been on a plane, but it's probably best that I try to get an aisle seat too. KNOWING ME I'll have to use the bathroom ten times before we land
Hey! i like the new format
heheh funnie story (since i just flew i noticed all sorts of irks about passenger ediquette--my favorite being when i am innocently sitting and the person who is trying to scoot into the row behind me, decides to grab my chair for support but upon grabbing the head of my chair, grabs my hair as well yanking my head hair and chair back with it. lovely* 
Ah so tokyo lobby! hmm i havent been there--but i would recommend reading up on chowhound.com
they usually have pretty good/reliable reviews--just have to read a lot of them to get a good feel. Lemme know how it is! =) and happy belated fathers day!!
i hate when people try to steal my window seat.. like, "well i was here already, do you wanna just sit in the aisle?" hells no biyatch, get the f out my seat with your fat buttocks! but that's not you. you're cool. i forgot where i was going with that. maybe nowhere. as usual... har.
so... seriously, there's no one in your hawaii pad most the time these days anyway! hahaha
nice change in format! you always crack me up. now you gotta show a pic of your lard ass! i mean fat ass!
yeah why can't we have it all?
mmm. choco covered macadamia nuts... yummy
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