December 11, 2007

  • WADT... ~chinatown haircuts~

    ...i'm getting quite used to getting my haircut in chinatown, both in california and hawaii

    ...the following scenerio has happened in both states upon entering professional hair grooming establishments in such environs;

    ONONONONONOONONONONONONONONONONONOONONONONONONONONONONONONONNONNONONONONONO


    CHINESE PROFESSIONAL: sit, sit, sit...how you like cut?

    ME: i just need it trimmed a little.

    CP: (smiling...getting her tools...and not paying me much attention) OKAY...OKAY.

    ME: (using my hands...pointing to my head...making the very little signal with my fingers...grabbing a very small piece of the end of my hair...squinting my eyes) just cut a very little...not too much...very little...ok?

    CP: okay, thank you...(turns my chair away from the mirror, then starts cantonese conversation with other CPs followed by chinese-type laughter by all CPs)

    ME: (thinking to myself..."oh crap")

    <<<<< 4 minutes later >>>>>>>

    CP: okay...thank you...all finish...8 dollar...thank you...tip please...thank you

    ME: (afraid to look in the mirror, while handing $12 to the CP) thank you (exits the salon still in grave fear of the mirror)


    <<<shortly thereafter, i find my spouse, kids, friends walking towards me on the street>>>


    ...(for the next hour, i hear phrases similar to the following)

        -"OH MAN YOU WERE BUTCHERED"...
        -"SHOOT, WHEN DID WE ARRIVE IN CHINA?"...
        -"DID YOU PAY FOR THAT?"...
        -"DON'T WORRY IT WILL GROW BACK...IN A YEAR"...
        -"YOU'RE LUCKY YOU GOT MARRIED BEFORE THAT HAIRCUT"...
        -"DID THEY CUT YOUR HAIR WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED?"...
        -"NOT JUST A LITTLE BIT UGLY, DAD"...
        -"COULD YOU WALK ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET?"...
        -"WELCOME TO ANIMAL PLANET"

    ME: okay, i kinda get the idea...again...(sob)

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