Month: January 2008

  • WADT… ~B.F.F.~

    2 girls talking

    2 boys talking

  • WADT… ~tough questions~

    …your 5 year old twins are drowning…you have an equal chance of saving ONE and only 1…the other will drown…one is a BOY…the other is a GIRL…

    who do you save?

    *************************

    how bout if 1 was your momma…and the other your daddy?…hm?

  • WADT… ~ chiney lady ratted me out~

    quick……someone translate, for me, what they said to him…

    (thanks cynthia, wink)

    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

    …so, it’s been a bit chilly in the bay area lately…nonetheless, my clothing is not deterred…t-shirt…shorts…and, ummmm???…what are those slippahs called?…ummmm?….dis kine….

    pair-brown

    …anyway, whilst pedestri-ing across the street from the chiney plaza, in front of a police sub-station, some random chinese lady shouts, smiles, yells out, and points to me (not nec. in that order) the following…

    HER : “…HEY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN GO TO THE BEACH!!!”

    ME: no response

    HER : “…HEY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN GO TO THE BEACH!!!” (again)

    ME: (smile, nod, flirtatious and felische’ look) “yah”

    HER: “HEY HEY HEY, YOU ARE JAY WALKING…YOU ARE JAY WALKING!!!! JAY WALKER!!!! JAY WALKER!!!!

    41-jaywalking
    (ME SCURRY AWAY RAPIDLY LIKE RODENT… @#$%^&#% LADY! )

  • wadt… ~recap of the day~

    …my lovely wife was given/issued her “primary care physician” and sent a  resume and photo of her new MD…she told me her new doctor was ugly…i told her i was glad because a good looking doc might have partied too much in med school, drank excessively, cut anatomy class, and failed to get straight A+’s…versus an ugly one that had no life, allowing for an 120 additional hours to study…to make the genii(l.)…i told her i wanted a really super ugly doc…

    …so she sat silent fpr 17 seconds and asked me and my kids the following question…

    *******************

    HER: would you guys rather have a woman doctor who looked like a man?…or a man doctor who looked like a woman?

    ME: a woman who looked like a man…i don’t know why.

    SON: me too, no, how bout a woman doctor who looked like a monkey?

    (someone text the other kids to get their input, quick!)

    HER: what kind of monkey?…a chimp…an ape…an oranatang?(oops mispelled orangertang)

    ME: arent there a bunch of different monkeys with big red butts?

    SON: i had a professor who looked like a monkey

    HER: what did he/she teach?

    SON: who who who?

    HER: your monkey teacher

    ME: what’s that song about getting your monkey?

    SON: yah, the commercial with that asian guy in that bathroom singing

    HER: monkey song?

    ME: yah the asian guy caught singing,” whatcha gonna do…something…gnna get yer monkey something???”

    HER: a monkey is not really a monkey, is it?

    ME: no, i think monkeys are monkeys..big and hairy wild and hard to tame?…

    SON: you guys are weird

    ME/HER: you lucky got all our dna…lucky…

    SON: what are we talking about?

  • WADT… ~Sold Yer Boy~

    *********************************************************

    hey A and B…check this guy out…he is definitely jamodey**…

    *credit: taken from franksabunch’s other site without permission

    **jamodey (ja moe dee) similar to compadee, but 1/3 less

  • WADT… ~this year’s word (urban dic)~

    1. felische’
    1 thumb up

    1. felische’ fah-leesh adjective

    Being felische’ is the ability to combine suave-ness and
    confidence in a single action, with a small taste of gay femininity
    added. A person can do ANY action in a felische’ manner, however, not
    all people have the ability to be felische’.

    She was being soooooo felische’ in the way she put her make-up on.

    I was probably the most felische’est person in the beauty pageant.

    tags suave-ness cool confident smooth lofty blemish-free hot beautiful felish feleesh faleash felishe
    by Dee oakland

  • WADT… ~today’s doodoo conversation~

    T: what if it became stylish to wear a little bit of doodoo above your eye, would you do it?

    A: well, is it your own doodoo, or someone else’s?

    T: depends where you are going

    A: you know it’s always better to wear your own Brand…everybody likes their own Brand

    (N enters the room)

    T: hey N, would you wear your own doodoo on your face if…

    (interrupts and answers before T finishes question)

    N: Oh yeah…i sure would…i like doodoo.

  • WADT… ~miss spoke~

    HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?…

    **************************

    whilest standing and waiting for the elevator with your husband, a total chinese speaking old man stranger approaches the elevator…and as he nears you, he opens his mouth slightly as to acknowledge your presence, looks your way, and says,

    “Hi”

    since he is a stranger, 67% looking like a perv, you think of him as 33% perv-free, so you decide to gladly receive his warm salutation with a nice friendly smile and a

    “hi there!” (just as if you were greeting an old friend who was just released from the work furlough program @ ‘county’)

    He then turns away from you and continues his conversation into his bluetooth headset, in chinese, of course…while your husband starts laughing uncontrollably in english.

    **************************************
    **************************************

    this exact same thing may have possibly happened to me today at 6pm…me, being the husband

  • WADT… ~what DAY is today?~

    oh…oh…oh….what day is it….YES IT IS….so start singin’ ya’ll

    HAPPY NEW YEARS TOOOOO MEEEEEEEE

    HAPPY NEW YEARS TOOOOO MEEEEEEEE

    HAPPY NEW YEARS TOOOOO MEEEEEEEE-HEEEEEEEE

    HAPPY NEW YEARS TOOOOO MEEEEEEEE!

    thank you…thank you….thank you!