WADT…    ~IGNORED MESSES~

you know how there are some “spills, drops and messes” you could just ignore and they just seem to get fixed, cleaned, picked up, or whatever by the “mess fairy”?

…like when you’re eating roasted peanuts…and when you’re cracking open the shell and get to that little annoying lighter than air paper like covering (what the heck is that?) and it just flies all over the place like your t-shirt…your face…and a 3 foot diameter around where you’re sitting…well if you ignore all those little flakes for an hour or so, they get cleaned up by the mess fairy..did ya know that?

…like when you drop a small piece of meat on the floor, you just kick it under the table to where the mess fairy lives…

…or if you happen to get a booger on your finger (from who knows where), you just make these special flinging movements with your fingers…and the fairy comes to take the booger away?…

…well i found out there are some messes that the fairy will not attend to…what the heck?…not a full service fairy?…shoot…i wanna different fairy…my mess fairy is not working out very well when this happened this morning…

…my dog went outside to take her morning leak and poop…when she came back in, i noticed (as well as my nose) that after she pooped…SHE STEPPED RIGHT IN HER FRESH SMELLY STEAMY MUSHY POOP…CRAP!…double crap! how on earth does she do that?…i have never stepped on any of mine!!!

…so with every step she left a fudgcicle or skidmark…and even though she must know there’s something smelly on her left rear paw, she still acted like she wanted to play “find your bone”?…how could this be?

…where was the mess fairy when i needed her most?…crap…she’s stanky

…who are these guys?… is it mr. barnes or miss noble or vice versa?…are they friends?…are they homosexual lovers?…do they like books?…do they know that people go into their store and just read magazines?…where are they from?…where do they live?…do they practice safe sex?…do they go into men’s restrooms and wait for people to make signals with their feet for promiscuous anonymous sexual activity without condoms?(ewwwww…change subject)…do they know ben and jerry?…why do they hide the playboy magazines so high up behind all the other semi sexual magazines like FHM, STUFF and MAXIM magazines?…hmmmm?

…so J and i spent 2 hours in the bookstore last night…she read all the books and magazines on home decor…and i am now educated in all aspects involving current surgical techniques for trauma and diseases

…so we are now looking for a house in california…hmm?…where to live?…where to live?

…so i’m taking a shower in the tub and someone climbs in there with me…woo hoo!

…yes i was naked…i agree…ewwwwww

…yes i left the door open

…yes i was feeling oh so hot and sexy

…yes my son was home

…yes i’ve never showered with anyone (in chinatown) before

…yes my body was oh so fragrant

…yes it was unexpected

…yes i was shocked someone would get in there with me…especially with my son home

…yes i thought there was going to be a hot time in chinatown

…ahem ahem

…so i turned around and saw that Shelby,…my 60 pound labrador retreiver…had climbed in the shower with me…

…i think my dog is losing her eyesight

…what exactly is this valentine’s day thing anyway?…thank goodness for 7-elevens…har

…the crime in oakland is going crazy lately…murders galore last week…yikes

…flavor of love 3 is starting NOW…whoa boi!

…i really need to play golf

…i really need to go back to hawaii

…trying to get everyone together for a bahama cruise for 5 days on march 24th…for $600 pp including rt air from cali to fla

…so there’s this demented guy that lives in the next condo…last night at about 1am J and i hear him snoring through the wall…well actually through the electrical outlet…and not just ‘little’ snoring..but loud loud snoring…like he is sleeping right next to the outlet…so J and i lie down on the floor next to the outlet to listen to him….(J calls him a demented guy because…well…he’s like a 40 year old chinese guy living with his parents and he walks around talking to his shoes a lot…so he might not really be demented…but he might be just a little demented…like just about half demented)…so anyway while we listened to him snoringi wanted to see if he could hear me too…so i yelled into the outlet…HEY!…HEY!…then i couldnt hear him anymore…i think because we were laughing too much

…happy valentines day

…so just how much exercise can you get from a nintendo wii?

…i’m currently watching a show on the discovery channel called “how it’s made”…did you know that bacon is made from pig “bellies”?

…get in my belly, you babie!

…is there anyone who can fix the USA?

…some diabetics poke themselves with needles 4 times a day to check their blood sugar level, and take 5 shots of insulin…that’s poking yourself with a needle 270 times a month…3,240 a year…307,800 a lifetime

…will we all be naked in heaven?

…my dog swears

WADT…    ~in memory of kingston

…i used to grab your toys with my teeth and run around your house really fast

…i didn’t like when you smelled my anus, but i really like smelling yours

…how the heck did we get older than those chinese people?

…i’m sorry i ate your food

…i always wish i had curly hair lie you

…remember that door in the fence that connected our yards?

…what happened to your pee-pee?

…i’ll miss the good times we had

shelby

“The Way I Am”

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…this is my favorite song today

…J’s favorite TV show is the girls next door

…T’s favorite activity is parkour(sp?)

…N’s favorite activity involves dancing and doing shots with STJ

…A’s favorite activity is involves holding a joystick in cyberland

…why can’t i find a wii?

…i like football

…i like coke

…i like big screen plasma high def tv’s

…i like chinese preserved salted plums with a sip of milk

…i like long warm showers followed by a long warm bath followed by a short hot shower

…i like hamachi sashimi and sushi

…i like marilyn monroe

…i like cream labrador retrievers

…i like to hear TNA laugh

…i like artichoke dip

…i like how my mom rubbed my back when i was a kid

…i like popular science

…i like Ja Moe Dee

…i like unique mechanical watches

…i like flying

…i like funny smart supermodels

…i like interrogating guilty murder suspects

…i like playing shortstop

…i like the lotus elise

…i love my wife

…i like conventions that give away cool free stuff

…i like homemade chocolate milkshakes

…i like texas hold’em and blackjack

…i like shawshank redemption

…i like pinball machines with little ball roller coaster thingies

…i like steamed fish with cilantro

…i like seinfeld

…i like faking a handoff to the running back, bootlegging the ball, rolling out to the right, and throwing a long pass to the left tightend crossing over to the end zone

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