February 10, 2008

  • WADT…


    …so just how much exercise can you get from a nintendo wii?

    …i’m currently watching a show on the discovery channel called “how it’s made”…did you know that bacon is made from pig “bellies”?

    …get in my belly, you babie!

    …is there anyone who can fix the USA?

    …some diabetics poke themselves with needles 4 times a day to check their blood sugar level, and take 5 shots of insulin…that’s poking yourself with a needle 270 times a month…3,240 a year…307,800 a lifetime

    …will we all be naked in heaven?

    …my dog swears

February 8, 2008

  • What A Dog Thinks…

    WADT…    ~in memory of kingston

    …i used to grab your toys with my teeth and run around your house really fast

    …i didn’t like when you smelled my anus, but i really like smelling yours

    …how the heck did we get older than those chinese people?

    …i’m sorry i ate your food

    …i always wish i had curly hair lie you

    …remember that door in the fence that connected our yards?

    …what happened to your pee-pee?

    …i’ll miss the good times we had

    shelby

February 6, 2008

  • WADT… ~i love ingrid~


    “The Way I Am”

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    …this is my favorite song today

    …J’s favorite TV show is the girls next door

    …T’s favorite activity is parkour(sp?)

    …N’s favorite activity involves dancing and doing shots with STJ

    …A’s favorite activity is involves holding a joystick in cyberland

    …why can’t i find a wii?

February 1, 2008

  • WADT… ~superbowl~

    so when the RAIDERS win the superbowl tomorrow, i’m going down to 35th ave and…oh, they’re not?…

    did you see that show where they ask a bunch of personal questions to unknown misc type of people, then their spouse gets mad at them, then they get $100,000?

    snoop dog reminds me of people i went to high school with…without the moo-lah

    did you know there is a legal definition for the word “idiot” and “moron”?

    what’s better to be?  if you were a moron, would you rather be an idiot?


    %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


    …i like football

    …i like coke

    …i like big screen plasma high def tv’s

    …i like chinese preserved salted plums with a sip of milk

    …i like long warm showers followed by a long warm bath followed by a short hot shower

    …i like hamachi sashimi and sushi

    …i like marilyn monroe

    …i like cream labrador retrievers

    …i like to hear TNA laugh

    …i like artichoke dip

    …i like how my mom rubbed my back when i was a kid

    …i like popular science

    …i like Ja Moe Dee

    …i like unique mechanical watches

    …i like flying

    …i like funny smart supermodels

    …i like interrogating guilty murder suspects

    …i like playing shortstop

    …i like the lotus elise

    …i love my wife

    …i like conventions that give away cool free stuff

    …i like homemade chocolate milkshakes

    …i like texas hold’em and blackjack

    …i like shawshank redemption

    …i like pinball machines with little ball roller coaster thingies

    …i like steamed fish with cilantro

    …i like seinfeld

    …i like faking a handoff to the running back, bootlegging the ball, rolling out to the right, and throwing a long pass to the left tightend crossing over to the end zone

    ******************

    news: MICROSOFT (MSFT 30.44) offers $44,600,000,000 for YAHOO (YHOO 27.97)

January 30, 2008

January 29, 2008

  • WADT… ~tough questions~

    …your 5 year old twins are drowning…you have an equal chance of saving ONE and only 1…the other will drown…one is a BOY…the other is a GIRL…

    who do you save?

    *************************

    how bout if 1 was your momma…and the other your daddy?…hm?

January 22, 2008

  • WADT… ~ chiney lady ratted me out~

    quick……someone translate, for me, what they said to him…

    (thanks cynthia, wink)

    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

    …so, it’s been a bit chilly in the bay area lately…nonetheless, my clothing is not deterred…t-shirt…shorts…and, ummmm???…what are those slippahs called?…ummmm?….dis kine….

    pair-brown

    …anyway, whilst pedestri-ing across the street from the chiney plaza, in front of a police sub-station, some random chinese lady shouts, smiles, yells out, and points to me (not nec. in that order) the following…

    HER : “…HEY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN GO TO THE BEACH!!!”

    ME: no response

    HER : “…HEY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN GO TO THE BEACH!!!” (again)

    ME: (smile, nod, flirtatious and felische’ look) “yah”

    HER: “HEY HEY HEY, YOU ARE JAY WALKING…YOU ARE JAY WALKING!!!! JAY WALKER!!!! JAY WALKER!!!!

    41-jaywalking
    (ME SCURRY AWAY RAPIDLY LIKE RODENT… @#$%^&#% LADY! )

January 16, 2008

  • wadt… ~recap of the day~

    …my lovely wife was given/issued her “primary care physician” and sent a  resume and photo of her new MD…she told me her new doctor was ugly…i told her i was glad because a good looking doc might have partied too much in med school, drank excessively, cut anatomy class, and failed to get straight A+’s…versus an ugly one that had no life, allowing for an 120 additional hours to study…to make the genii(l.)…i told her i wanted a really super ugly doc…

    …so she sat silent fpr 17 seconds and asked me and my kids the following question…

    *******************

    HER: would you guys rather have a woman doctor who looked like a man?…or a man doctor who looked like a woman?

    ME: a woman who looked like a man…i don’t know why.

    SON: me too, no, how bout a woman doctor who looked like a monkey?

    (someone text the other kids to get their input, quick!)

    HER: what kind of monkey?…a chimp…an ape…an oranatang?(oops mispelled orangertang)

    ME: arent there a bunch of different monkeys with big red butts?

    SON: i had a professor who looked like a monkey

    HER: what did he/she teach?

    SON: who who who?

    HER: your monkey teacher

    ME: what’s that song about getting your monkey?

    SON: yah, the commercial with that asian guy in that bathroom singing

    HER: monkey song?

    ME: yah the asian guy caught singing,” whatcha gonna do…something…gnna get yer monkey something???”

    HER: a monkey is not really a monkey, is it?

    ME: no, i think monkeys are monkeys..big and hairy wild and hard to tame?…

    SON: you guys are weird

    ME/HER: you lucky got all our dna…lucky…

    SON: what are we talking about?

January 15, 2008

  • WADT… ~Sold Yer Boy~

    *********************************************************

    hey A and B…check this guy out…he is definitely jamodey**…

    *credit: taken from franksabunch’s other site without permission

    **jamodey (ja moe dee) similar to compadee, but 1/3 less

January 12, 2008